Emmahspeaks 🌻

What’s life without women

What’s life without women?
I don’t mean to paint my gender black or anything but I think women are the enemies that women have.
Sometimes ago,I read on the internet that women are not supposed to work but depends on a man for survival and if you ask me,I would say that that is a bottom barrel mentality and something that a shallow minded human would say.
What makes you a GOOD WOMAN is the ability for you to take responsibilities for yourself. You don’t need to depend on anyone regardless of gender.
You’re a helper not a slave or a lesser creature.
If we put the blame on the society,it still falls back to us because we make up the society.
We are responsible for the discriminations, domestic violence and social risks that women experience.
Woman have time and again felt the need to liberate themselves from the societal straitjackets, which for years have forced images on us that do not correspond to our true selves. Being a woman can have no definitive answers, it can mean a lot of things and very different things to each one us, but it is definitely the best thing to be one.——-Pratima Singh.
Being a woman goes beyond being a tool for reproduction or having a man in her life (Don’t get me wrong,I’m not one of the social media “teachers” who brainwash girls in the name of “Feminism”)
We are blessed with so much opportunities and it’s time we sat up and start making use of them.

Nevertheless,a woman is a woman regardless of her marital status and age
Whether she has a man in her life of not
With or without a child
With or without a stable source of income or a good job
The presence of these things don’t make you more or less of a woman.
I just remembered how someone shamed a popular singer of how she’s too old to be single and being the timekeeper of her life reminding her of how menopause is knocking on her door.
We really need to rekindle that fire of gender independence and self reliance in the woman spirit.
In celebration of International Women’s Day,I want to appreciate all good women out there struggling to be better for themselves and young girls like myself who are doing what is right for themselves and for their future.
Happy International women’s Day.
Love❤️ and Light 💡from Emmah 🌻

Siri,play me Nobody be like woman by Simi

Silver lining in the cloud 🌫️

Honestly, I don’t mean to sound vulgar or anything but I’m used to fuck ups and when they happen,I don’t even count them as one.
Recently yeah, I’ve been thinking of how to get myself out of this mess and just start something with my life,you know, something meaningful, valuable, something worth celebrating. The more I think about this,the more I feel like I’m putting so much pressure on myself. Oftentimes I just sit back and admire other people who are in my age bracket and are doing marvelously well and I realize that I’ve been using other people’s success, great things and all of that good stuff to measure mine. Sometimes I see myself as a “bad belle” but I’ve thought wrong about myself. I am not and will never be.
But now I don’t really care,if it makes me work harder and be more,then I really don’t mind. I understand the “comparison is the killer of joy” notion but I believe that if it gives me a little motivation, then it’s not a bad thing.

Sometimes, all we just need is a little push.
A push to come out of our shell
A push to the brighter side of life
A push to greater things
And we can’t get this done alone right?
All we need is self motivation,set goals,prayers and maybe a few friends to support us, also maybe a plate of spaghetti and turkey😂.

Like I said in one of my posts at the beginning of the year “I’m not going to put myself under duress, I’ll just take my time,allow things to fall into place and allow God to work”.But now, I’m putting in my own work, trusting God to make things fall into place and also taking my time.
And this is exactly what I’m doing.
Being my own cheerleader 😌❤️

Love❤️ and Light 💡from Emmah

Restart: it’s a new beginning

Helllooo fam
It’s the beginning of the year (we’re still in January so permit me to use the word “beginning”) and everybody needs some sort of motivation so, here’s mine to you….

One common thing about humans is that we get really burnt out from the hustle and bustle of life, sometimes we don’t even like how we’re living it, how things turn out and we wish there’s some sort of like…ermmm….a “reboot” or a “restart” button.Lmaoooo
Everybody can relate, unfortunately it’s not that easy but fortunately at the same time I’ve come up with some REBOOT OR RESTART tips
So let’s get started.

Identify where the problem or stress is coming from -Work, relationship, family, school (obviously this is like 60% problem of every young Nigerian).
After you must’ve reflected,look for a way to maintain a balance.Decide what you really want do and strike to action,take a deep thought at your thoughts, feelings, actions and emotions.

2. After you must’ve critically reflected on yourself,don’t forget about the mistakes you’ve made .Learn from them, also take notes of your regret and work on them.Find a way to connect the lesson to the positives

3.First consider what you want to achieve, and then commit to it. Set SMART (specific, measureable, attainable, relevant and time-bound) goals that motivate you and write them down to make them feel tangible. Plan the steps you must take to realize your goal and cross off each one as you work through them.
Make your goal specific, Give your goals a time frame and Draw up a proper plan of action.The goals you set need to be realistic and in line with your organisation while keeping in mind your morale and also your motivation.

4. Don’t do things the usual way you’ve been doing them,take new steps, explore your interest and talent then go for it.Look out for your Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats and tackle them, begin to see things from a different and better perspective.

5. Don’t overwork yourself. If you’re itching for a change and longing for a turnover,take it easy on yourself and gradually work up.
When you feel burnt out, take a break and START OVER.

6. You can choose to be selfish to everyone else but don’t be selfish to yourself.
Prioritize everything that concerns you, yourself, your body,your health, your mind, your happiness, your peace of mind.
Prioritize your leisure,make out time for yourself,go out, inhale the fresh breeze, spoil yourself and be ready for enjoyment.

7.In my previous posts,I always emphasize on the need to surround yourself with positive vibes, good energy and healthy friendships or relationship.Yes,great people are rare but you can be one. Keep your mind open and be sure that your FRIENDS are a positive influence to your life.
As my friend would say, “You know what you’re looking for in a person,choose your friends, don’t let them choose you”, and this has been my mantra. Find your niche and build it.

8. Don’t be hard on yourself.Give yourself time to make mistake, it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s totally fine to mess up.
Making mistakes doesn’t negate everything good you’ve done or achieved.
It is a natural part of evolving into a whole new being (not entirely a different person but the same person with a refreshed mindset).

Finally,to get better results,
Repeat the above tips
And start afresh.
Restart,just ignore the voices and restart
This brings us to the end of my pep talk.😊✌️.Have a good read
Emmahspeaks 🌻

It’s gratitude and more

Phewwwwwww. Ending this year with emotional rollercoaster. 2021 is gonna be over in few hours and all that happened has been an eye opener for me therefore my heart is filled with gratitude (because why not)…….. There’s a whole lot of things to be grateful for. The lessons I learnt from the mistakes I made The opportunities I lost because there’s still so much in life to explore.

The people I met and the sweet memories I created with them. I always thought I was anti-social but I met “random people” and I never thought I would be close to them. Well guess what, we’re now best of friends. My friends have made me realize that there’s more to life than living it alone, they’ve taught the virtues of friendship, genuine love and care.

Also my family had tonsssssssss of blessings and I can’t even start counting. My sisters (omgggggggg) are like my top priorities. Taking care of them gave me a wider knowledge of parenting and a huge respect for all parents (either biological or foster).

Most importantly,I am grateful to God for everything,the bad and the good,the happy and sad ,the confused and clear…..Every single thing.

Yeahhh,life can be really hard but I’ll go harder. Life can be tough but I’ll be tougher. 2022 is a chance for me to do better, another chance to be better. Therefore I would rise above my lows. I won’t put pressure on myself. I’ll let things fall into place by themselves. And let life take it’s cause. Bring it on 2022,I don readyyyyyy,I dey wait for you.

And to everyone, thanks for being a part of my 2021 journey.Next year,we go again.I love you alllllll

Affirmation for 2022: I will live💫 I will thrive🌹 I will strive and despite the odds of life,I will survive

You’re grateful for one thing or the other and you’d like to share? …..Let me know in the comment section

Emmah💫

Let yourself bloom like a flower 🌻

I’ve been asked questions like “Emmah,why did you take a break on your blog”.Well, it’s hard to accept at first but it’s actually a good sign.
A good sign that I’m here to continue from where I stopped.It was hard to accept that I needed to get into a space of recovery-A new phase of learning, relearning and unlearning, a new stage of reshaping and resharpening my mindset.

You’ll be surprised to know that I’m scared of growth and maturity.The word “grow up” scares alot of people (I know it’s not something to be scared about) but it comes with alot of expectations, pressure, responsibilities, tension and sacrifices.
Growth is like being lost in the woods–every direction leads to nowhere at first, it seems very tough and scary but as you journey through, you’ll realize that it’s interesting and adventurous. There’s a whole lot of risks to take and decisions to make. You take steps you never expect you would,this could turn in favour of you or otherwise. In this situation,you decide if you want to SINK or SWIM. Now this decision can’t be possible without GROWTH and MATURITY.

Of a truth,life can get really frustrating, situations will definitely attempt to break you but you have to put yourself out there again and try. The more development we make,the more we tend to grow and outgrow.
You see,it’s so hard to give an advice when you’ve not been through tough process of growth where you’re broken beyond pieces but you know,some words can heal and they definitely will but sometimes, our mindset is fragile to accept the reality that things wouldn’t remain the same forever.
This is my little bid to give you hope, you’re stronger than you can ever imagine. All you have to do is to let growth happen,let maturity take it’s cause.Let go of toxic people, things, memories and circumstances that deprive you of emotional and mental growth.
You can’t hold on to bad memories and expect to grow emotionally.
Open the bag and let them go,free yourself emotional and mental burden and dwell in optimism

Physically-maintain hygiene and “do your thing”.Dress up, smell nice and look peng.

Socially-stay around people who bring out the positive spark in you. Choose your friends and don’t let them choose you. Watch out for positive development,if there’s none,then you’re in the wrong circle.

Spiritually- Practice your faith SINCERELY
Keep it in mind that growth is not always easy but it’s rewards are great.
When growth and maturity finally takes a toll on you,let yourself bloom like a flower.

With love❤️
Emmahspeaks🌻

Dear Emmah😊

Everyone who knows me knows how much I love birthdays and cakes and balloons.And it’s my turn today so I decided to pen this down……

I’m not holding back any joy today,I will love every minute of today and every bit of myself,my scars,my flaws,my imperfections,…EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT ME. Everything has been orchestrated to favour me in my new year.Last year was a bit tough but I was tougher,I got through it and today marks the genesis of a promising, fulfilling and happy year.

I’m positively looking forward to a fresh start plus all the good things that life can throw

DEAR EMMAH, you’re an embodiment of strength, resilience and perfection. Yes I said PERFECTION because my perfection always outshine my flaws There’s a lot of greatness, talents and potentials in you, Take a bold step. Go on a daring adventure. Find it and unlock it

Emmahspeaks 🌻🌻🌻

Thinking out loud

Have you ever been to a place where you feel uncomfortable, scared,a place where you forget about yourself and worry about what happens to someone next and can’t help but pray for the person?
Yeah,I’ve been there before and I’m there right now
Sitting here really gives me a terrible feeling.
You see,the walls of an hospital have heard more prayers than that of a chapel or praying room.
Seeing people in a terrible state especially little kids really break my heart because they’re so innocent for these pains they’re going through and it really traumatizes me because I know how it feels.
If you feel you have nothing to be thankful for,just go to the hospital and you’ll be more thankful.

Sometimes instead of praying for frivolous things
Instead of praying for food, money, clothes,cars
Dedicate time to pray for sick people
They really need your prayers.

Emmahspeaks 🌻

Let it out

Alexa,play me It’s Okay Not To Be Okay by Demi Lovato and Marshmello

Hi darlings, it’s been a while right? Yeahhhh,I know 😌😌, Pardon my inconsistency.I think I’m just in the stage where most humans tend to fall into a state of absolute numbness and grayness. I’ve been going through some psychological orientation about life and I’d like to share.

Few days ago,a friend of mine texted me and said “Emmah,how are you doing.For real,how are you doing” . I didn’t know what to say because I couldn’t think of the perfect words to fit describe how I was feeling and the next thing I saw was her call,I picked and she said “Emmah,let it out,you always keep things to yourself and today I want to hear from you” ,these words touched me and before I knew it,I started crying.For about 17 minutes,my eyes were raining and I could hear her mumbling some words.Little did I know that she was praying for me,the more my sobbing increases,the more intense her prayers were.When I was done,I felt relieved and it was as if a burden had been lifted off my chest.

Crying doesn’t make you look weak, it’s a form of therapy,the words you can’t say to describe your feelings comes in form of tears.The more you hold it in,the more sad you become.

Sometimes when we wonder why there are flood and rain and we wonder if the rain ain’t causing havoc to other people’s life and sometimes we wish God could stop the rain.Little do we know if God stops the rain because it isn’t suitable for us at the moment and we feel because of the troubles and pain the flood causes, it indirectly going to affect us also.

Just because you feel pain today, doesn’t warrant you telling God to end your life, just because the tears are so frequent and nobody seems to understand your pain, doesn’t mean it is all over.

Just because the rain is causing problems at your zone doesn’t mean the rain wouldn’t be beneficial to you later. The things we go through are there to make us stronger not because God doesn’t love us. So beyond the tears, there is something special in you.The tears is just a substance, but you are the person to use the pain to move beyond what you expect.

If God ends you or you end yourself, imagine the potentials to reap beyond the temporary tears. The crowd you could help with the stories, the motivation you could help to people going through what you went through.

So darling,I say it’s okay not to be ok. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel sad but don’t stay in the dark corner for to long

Always remember, You’re beauri😍. You’re a spec Haters gonna hate Potatoes gonna potate Tomatoes gonna tomate but it’s your duty to blind them with your sheer awesomeness and perfection.

You’re loved ❤️❤️. Emmahspeaks 🌻

It doesn’t always have to end in tears

I have made my research and have come to a conclusion that people who use the phrase “it will end in tears” are those who are jealous and intimated by your relationship.When people say it’ll end in tears, they mean that they think a situation will end badly with people being upset.

Truthfully, I think people are too broken to actually know there are still good people who would actually treat them right when they venture into a “relationship” .

If you’ve been in a relationship for more than 5 months, I must congratulate you because in our “world” where people date for a week and call it quit, you’ve chosen to stay with the same person for more than 5 months despite the odds.

Duration is not what’s important. We’ve heard stories of people in relationships for more than 2 years still ending up with a sad break-up.

I know the last thing on your mind is a breakup. I know you have misunderstanding every here and then with your partner, you have assumptions rather than communicating, you compare your partner relationship with another person own, no conflict resolution system/strategy, third party syndrome, you “see your partner finish”,your partner doesn’t understand your mood, frequent fights here and there.

But should I be honest with you?

It would not end in tears…….. Yeah I mean your relationship wouldn’t end in tears. And it isn’t because I am trying to sweet talk you or trying to make you relaxed. I am just stating the facts.

Look I am not here to start using a situation to judge the situation of the public or advice they have started giving. It can’t end in premium tears.

Mutual respect is very important foundation for every relationship.Things you feel doesn’t matter to you, definitely means a lot to your partner. “Thank you”
“You are welcome”
“Please”
“I am sorry” Should always be included in your daily conversation.

You wonder why a lot of relationship ends in tears, why wouldn’t it end when the fundamental is been taken lightly.Don’t take your partner for granted.Don’t ever feel entitled to any thing your partner does for you out of love. Always be grateful and appreciative.

Don’t look down on your partner, support them, look good for them. Even if e go end in tears, cherish the times you spend together like it’s your last Go out with them
Share bonds
Discuss your feelings
Listen to your favourite music together.
Share your saddest and happiest moment together.

You know,the positive effort you put into the relationship and the “realness” of the two parties of the relationship actually makes it work. Don’t ever involve a third party not even your siblings or friends should have a say over your relationship. keep it private.

Sometimes it’s the fear that ” it’ll end in tears” that actually makes it end in tears
Strive to enjoy now and be positive about tomorrow . There’s always going to be tomorrow but you can’t relive any second that has passed…
Enjoy your happiness while it last stop thinking negatively about tomorrow….
Stop thinking about the tears
You can have a happy ending if you stop thinking about the tears.

I hope you know that there are still happy endings and there’s a happy ending for everyone 😊

Don’t forget to like, comment and hit the follow button.

Love you from the deepest part 😊💝 Emmahspeaks 🌻

What’s your genre of music?

It’s funny how I listen to one song 100000001111 times and cry as if it’s my first time listening to it😂

In the darkest time of the day🌌🌃 When emotions are very much awake, Connect the drip of sweet melodies to your ears 🎧🦻. As soon as the tune starts ringing……… my whole body goes numb, my heart beat stops.
And my eyes sends down hot rain. The lyrics take my soul on a trance, The celestial instrumentals🥁🎹🎤🎧 and seraphic voices have intoxicated me🎶🎵🎼 connecting to my soul and feeding it with “tunetrient” in abundance.

Whitney Houston’s I Look To You is my soul’s connection,my own therapy🎧

You can tell my music genre by this post, what’s yours? Let me know in the comment section 😊

Emmahspeaks 🌻